did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
