Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
