I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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