dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I need to calm my uterus...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
