$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
