I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Ketchup is God's man juice
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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