just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
