Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
