she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
