Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
