Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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