toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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