He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Hippo gnu deer
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
