what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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