Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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