ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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