The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
