Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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