butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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