and you said cock pushups were impossible
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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