i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
