and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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