sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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