Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
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