best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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