I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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