So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
