just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
