you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
