$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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