I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
do herpes really smell.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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