I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
