Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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