Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
