Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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