She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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