My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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