I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
