I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
