Having a random hookup so left but love u
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
