He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
