I wanna passion pit in your ass
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
