Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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