my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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