Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
