I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh god it's open bar.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
