First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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