Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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