So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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