i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
