she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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